Saturday, August 21, 2010

It's Better Than the Sewer

by Sue
You may not know this, but I actually grew up in a sewer.  Yeah, it was a rough life.  When it rained, all the rain poured down on my little gray kitten head.  The sewer is a really bad place to get shelter from the rain, cause it's where all the rain goes.
 
Life is tough in the sewer.  There's nothing soft to lay on, just concrete.  And there are bugs and spiders and worms in the sewer.  They aren't very friendly.  And there's not much to eat in the sewer, just the bugs and spiders and worms.  My belly would have been empty all the time, except for the worms that were living there, too.
 
Then a nice lady named Aimee saved me from the sewer.  I couldn't stay with her, because she already had enough cats to fill up a sewer, if she wanted to do that with them, which she didn't.  So she gave me to her friend Christina who owns Mom and Pup's.
 
The vet said I was a girl, so they named me Susie from the Sewer.  Now, I didn't like being reminded of the sewer all the time, but being reminded of the sewer is better than living in the sewer.  Then they figured out I was a boy.  But they still call me Sue after the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue."
 
It was hard adjusting to life outside the sewer.  Things were so bright and dry.  There was already another cat in the house, Shadow.  He keeps to himself mostly.  His mom died the day he was born, and he got raised with a bottle, so I understand why he keeps to himself.  Living with a cat who ignores me is a lot better than living in the sewer.
 
There was a dog in the house, too, named Violet.  Violet is really crazy about chasing balls.  She kept trying to get me to throw the ball for her.  But I didn't because I don't have thumbs.  I also am not very interested in throwing the ball.  Violet sometimes licks me a lot.  Her tongue is not good for licking.  It's too wet and not rough enough to comb your fur.  I actually have to fix my fur with my own tongue later.  I do it when she isn't watching so she doesn’t feel bad.  Getting licked by a dog is better than living in the sewer.
 
Now there's a new dog in the house.  Tiger Lily.  She was a rescue dog from AARF.  They found her as a little puppy with two broken legs.  I don't know what life is like when you're a homeless puppy with two broken legs.  It's probably a lot like living in the sewer.  Well, Tiger Lily likes to run around a lot and is really hyper.  She sometimes wants to play with me like I'm a dog, which I'm not.  But I still like to cuddle with Tiger Lily and let her lick me.  She may be a big, clumsy dog who uses her mouth too much, but living with her is better than living in the sewer.
 
I hope Christina doesn't bring any more cats or dogs home because it's getting crowded.  I mean, I'm not complaining--it's still better than the sewer.  But please, no more pets. 
 
Anyway, when life gets tough, I just tell myself, "It's still better than the sewer."  And that's how I keep up my good attitude and stay friendly to everybody, and I purr all the time.  Cause I know I'm not in the sewer any more.
 
If you have any room in your home, please take in a rescue dog or cat from AARF.  There are lots of dogs and cats who need a home.  Probably some of them lived in a sewer at some time in their lives.  Even if you just have a small place, that's still better than living in the sewer.
 
If you aren't living in the sewer, count your blessings.  Because you could be.  You could be living in the sewer.  And believe me, that's not very nice at all.  Just about anything is better than living in the sewer.

Dear Shadow... Advice for cats, from a cat

shadow@momandpups.com 
Dear Shadow,

My humans are always closing the door, but I want the door to stay open all the time.  Please help!

Pawfully yours,
Furman G.
Marietta, GA

Dear Furman,

This is a major problem with humans.  Next time the door is open, go and stand in the doorway, half in and half out.  Do not move, no matter what they say or do.  Ignore their pleading for you to make up your mind.  They might eventually give up and just leave the door open.

If this doesn't work, try a move I call the "back and forth."  First, scratch on the door and meow.  Go through the door.  As soon as the door closes, scratch and whine for it to open.  Repeat several times.  Again, they might just give up and leave it open.  Good luck with this!

Shadow



Dear Shadow,

My humans always insist on reading--books, newspapers, the internet, you name it.  How can I make them stop???

Half-sincerely,
Bristles N.
Vinings, GA
Dear Bristles,

As you know, promoting human illiteracy is a key part of the feline plan for world domination.

As soon as your human opens a book or newspaper, go and sit on it.  Purr to distract them.  If they try to push you off, get right back on.  Whatever you do, don't let them see any of the words on the page.

With computers, I find it best to stand in front of the screen.  Be sure to stand parallel so that your body blocks the entire monitor.  For added effect, walk on the keyboard--this will cause confusion and frustration, possibly causing them to stop reading.  Again, it is important to purr and act cute in this situation.

Shadow



Dear Shadow,

I love your column!  Makes me purr every time.

My question: My humans are eating a really yummy-smelling meal right now.  How can I get a bite for myself?

Your Furry Fan,
Nibbles
Woodstock, GA

Dear Nibbles,

Go into another room in the house and climb on a high shelf, preferably one with lots of knickknacks, tchotckes and/or bric-a-brac.  Knock something off.  Run out of the room.

When your humans go to investigate, jump up on the dining room table, grab something meaty, and run away before they return.  Find yourself a closet or other nook and snack away!

Shadow



Dear Shadow,

Why do u get to rite a advise colomn columm cullum thing?  i'm on the mom and pups logo so i shuld get a collomn colom my own thing.  its not fair and who r u to give advice when u r so lazy and don't even chase the ball ever?

Violet
(the dog that lives in yer house)
violet@momandpups.com

Dear Violet,

I just ate the canned food from your doggie dish.  Does that answer your question?

Shadow




If you are a cat, submit your questions to shadow@momandpups.com.

Shadow has been a cat for more than 10 years and has lots of opinions.  He is unemployed and enjoys sleeping, eating, catnip, scratching various objects, and sleeping.


Making Sure Your Cat is Using the Catbox

One great thing about running Mom & Pup's is helping people solve their pet's problems. It seems like at least once a week a customer complains of their cat urinating everywhere but their litter boxes. Here are some simple steps to make sure your cat is using its catbox.

1) Is there a medical reason?
Oftentimes cats with kidney issues and bladder stones find urination painful. They associate the box with this pain and avoid using it. Get your cat checked by a vet to rule out any health issues. Also un-neutered male cats will spray like crazy in order to ward off other males and alert females to their presence. Always spay or neuter your pet. There are great programs like "Casper's Fund" or Spay and Neuter Team of Atlanta which offer low cost altering options.

2) What's changed?
Cats are creatures of habit. They aren't fond of non-toy related surprises. Have you changed litters? Put a new mat in front of Kitty's box? Gotten a new pet? A new boyfriend? A new work schedule? While cats aren't malicious, it is common for them to express their feelings by urinating where they're not supposed to.

3) Do you have more than one cat?
You should have one litter box for each cat in different places of the house. Even littermates who share a food bowl and sleep curled up together may be "guarding the box." Chances are you'll never see this behavior but that doesn't mean it's not happening.

4) Is the box dirty? Cats are fastidious creatures. Just as you turn your nose up at a dirty public restroom, cats are loath to go in a dirty box. Keep it scooped every day. Once a week scrub it out with a weak bleach solution. Rinse it out and then rinse it some more.